I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
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ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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