picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize