I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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