I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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