Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
