We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
