We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
