Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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