I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
