I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize