Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
