you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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