I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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