Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
