Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
