Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
