Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize