so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
