I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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