Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.