i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
