this beer tastes like vomit already
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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