Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
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