i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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