She said her name was "party"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
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I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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