If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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