I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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