you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
