on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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