I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
