Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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