There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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