Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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