dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
