Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think I am morally bankrupt
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize