Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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