I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
