Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
