I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
thus making me awesome and them whores
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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