All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
