Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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