i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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