no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
