The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
