4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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