PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
