So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
