does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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