i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
