you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize