Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
