Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
