you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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