I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
