yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
