I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
