i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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