I will die if light touches me.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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